The Great “Bowl Theory”
October 27, 2008
Don’t you sometimes feel like a show monkey on display for your family? It’s as if all they worry about is how you make them look in our society. No matter how great a dancer, musician, artist or any sorts of creative energy is indulged, they seem to snip it by ridiculing you of the “nonsense you create and do”. It seems as if expressing yourself is the true evil in our society.
Think of the time you had your last music recital, art show, poem read. Did your parents clap? Did they tell you how proud they were? Were they super excited when you brought home your trophy/award and it wasn’t in math? What makes me sad about this entire ordeal is that as culture, we are surrounded by the arts. How many of us are rhythmically inclined, every second you have you hum something that would be an amazing song but even in the back of your head, you don’t think its special enough. You ever wondered if you took that song to the next level and made it your own, took the time to give it your personality and then share it with others? Have you ever tried to do so and then laughed in your face of how ridiculous it was because it’s not fitting for a “job/career”? I blame it on our society. It’s as if children are just notches on a belt for some parents. If you’re not a doctor/lawyer, you’re not talked about at parties as someone who’s special. Who’s to say the doctors/lawyers are special? I know a few, and how unhappy are some of them because they solely did it because their parents wanted them to?
I don’t only limit this ignorant way of thinking to the older generations. We, I and you do it too. How many times have you encouraged your younger sibling in doing something “non-cultural” like picking up a guitar and playing heavy metal? Is even heavy metal considered a music genre to you? Or do you only speak of chutney, reggae, soca, etc. as music? How limited is your thinking patterns, which may be a reflexion of your parents. Don’t we all loathe the notion of becoming our parents? So why do we sit there and do the same? Why do we stand back and make them pass judgment on our creative outlets? Why do we let our culture and society define who we are as a person? Why can’t you be a little different, maybe even be a little more “American” without being socially lynched as the “black sheep who isn’t West Indian enough”, when in fact… none of us are ashamed of where we come from but, why feel the need to wear your heritage on your sleeves? You can go further in life with your creative outlets, why should you feel ashamed? I feel that people who insult you about it maybe inanely jealous innerly have so much conflicting self hate because they wanted to do it but were too afraid to show their creative side to our society. It’s just a slight thought. I know this blog may seem a bit morbid but I feel that it is overtly morbid how our society criticizes anything that’s not considered “normal”, which I still don’t know what is that constituted as.
I have a little theory I share with a few friends. I call it the “bowl theory”. I imagine our entire culture in a bowl on the flattened inner parts. We, who strive to show their true personalities and comfortable with being themselves; try to crawl up that slippery wall. There are many obstacles including the fact that there is nothing to hold on to (like having no support from your loved ones) and as soon and you can feel the outer parts and you can taste your success, there is this giant cloud of judgment that rips your fingers off the corners of that same bowl and hits you so hard you slide alongside with your dreams, creativity and personal expressions… slide slowly down until they make you think the same as they do and before you know it, you think exactly like the ones on the flattened part of the bowl who no longer strive to show their true inner colors.
Pady
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2 Responses to “The Great “Bowl Theory””
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i completely agree!
My whole life has been this one big lie. That’s been developed to make everyone around me happy. I’ve been trained to think that the only things that do matter is what my father thinks. If he thinks something is right..well then of course it’s right. if something is boring to him well then its gonna be boring for everyone else. if he likes to eat something well then that’s what we are gonna have every time we go to that damn restaurant. And dear i mention something different…there goes the end of the world…again..
I cant recall the last time i did something because i wanted to do it without having to sneak out because i was worried of what they (father) would think.
i cant remember the last time my father believed in me
or looked beyond his temper to find his patience to truly look at me. If he did he would see that I’m not where i want to be.
The last time i opened up a conversation with him. (the first and last time) i told him i wanted to go to an art school he looked at me and said “its not something you should depend on’” ‘ You wont be able to get a job…and so on and so on..” that was almost two and a half years ago and i still remember that day as if it was yesterday. And it hurt like hell to know that my father of all people didn’t believe in me…
Looking around me i see people and see happiness. Those who are happy are the ones who became the black sheep of the family and once they became successful they suddenly became re-owned by their families…(funny how that works) i admire these ppl because they did what they wanted to do and had no support but refused to drown in the “soup bowl” so they reached and stretched and pulled until they got out.
I feel that there’s so much pressure to make everyone happy that we leave our own happiness in a forgotten box but we cant do that anymore cuz all we become is that gravy in that bowl and like paddy says.. we become “those parents” that we tried to run from as kids.
paddy i loved your theory
finally someone who made me a theory that i can actually understand!
And even though i cant go to that art skool now… its still on my List of Things that WILL GET DONE.
Jennie,
I’m glad you totally understand what I was trying to say.
It really does suck! It sucks that we get treated that way. I’m sorry you first hand have, but we learn from all of it and I feel it totally makes us stronger.
You don’t need to go to art school to be an artist Jennie, just use tutorials and or your computer to help you at your weak points and to learn new techniques which whatever art form you decide to show through. Let me know how it works out for you.