Arranged Marriages for Children – The South Asian Culture – A Total Disgrace.
March 13, 2008
The system originated a long time ago when marrying at a juvenile age in India was thought of as being suitable and over the generations became an institution. Children were prearranged into marriages before puberty. Parents believed that “child marriage” would prevent children from seeking a partner by them-selves when they became adults; fearing that they would choose someone of a lower caste as life partners. The caste system restricted individuals from marrying outside of their, religion, economic and social status. Thus, the arranged marriage system was a invention of caste system. In my opinion, the caste system was developed to promote racism and religious conflicts and had nothing tied to spiritual values and beliefs, as was the publicized theory among those days.
Arranged marriages were ubiquitous among the individuals belonging to elite Caste since these members wanted to protect the wealth that flourished within caste members. The Caste ranked from the Brahmins who were priests and teachers, Ksatriyas, who were warriors and rulers, Vaisyas, who were farmers, merchants and artisans and Sudras who were the laborers. The works of a Brahmin were promoted as being self-harmonious, austere, pure, loving, forgiving and righteous together with having vision, wisdom and faith. Ksatriyas incorporated a heroic mindset, inner fire, constancy, resourcefulness, and courage in battle together with generosity and being noble leaders. Trade, agriculture and the rearing of cattle were the works of a Vaishya and the work of the Shudra was service.
The Brahmins and Ksatriyas were the group of people who sought to shield their rank since they were among the most privileged. On the contrary, people belonging to the lower stratas’ did not care about this system any serious way because they didn’t have anything to lose.
In the event a suitable partner was not attained, “matrimonial classifieds” were circulated in the local prints or the aid of marriage brokers were sought when the family failed to find a suitable spouse for their child. All necessary qualifications, which included race, religion, economic and educational background, were mentioned in the advertisement.
Dating and pre-martial sex were taboos and your future spouse was just another stranger until you were ready to be wed. All matters pertaining to marriage would be in the presence of parents and family members. The consent of the girl and boy was insignificant. The negotiation is on the amount of ‘dowry’ or gifts, which is to be given by the girl’s family to that of her future husbands’. It was sort of a modern type trade in India. Girls from indigent families and girls who were orphans, were not considered a good commodity in the trade, hence, they remain unmarried. If the promised dowry were not given before the due date, the girl would be persecuted and thrown out by her husband’s family, shamed for the lack of fulfilling the bargain.
It is unfortunate for a marriage is when it is arranged with so much hatred and prejudice over religion, caste and race. In many cases, the couples isolated themselves from each other but continued to live with each other since the integrity of the caste was at stake.
Arranged marriages were and still are a large part of the East Asian culture. People who were brought up in that closed society, try to impress the very same upon their children to continue the tradition. Many young people who are ready to be married are forced into these situations against their own will and have to sacrifice their happiness of ever finding a partner of their own choice to please their parents. Some parents refuse to let their children make choices according to their own will and often threaten to exclude them for attaining family inherited wealth and in many case, they are treated as an outcast by all family members.
The South Asian culture isn’t the only culture that has adapted the traditions of arranged marriages. Another predominant culture that partakes in this custom is the Japanese. The modern system of arranged marriages is similar to blind dating as of that in the United States. But that’s another story
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2 Responses to “Arranged Marriages for Children – The South Asian Culture – A Total Disgrace.”
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Blind dating is by choice. Those who choose to participate do so because they have “difficulty” finding a partner, so they resort to blind dating in hopes of finding a match without their being selective.
A total disgrace? Comparing it to the practice of today you could say so, but this system was developed a long time ago and was acceptable then.
What’s sad is this is still being practiced today, not only in Guyana but in the U.S. by some families who are very traditional.